This is the transcript for a bit I wrote for episode 89 of Phedippidations back on March 25th, 2007 titled "A Pain in the Knee".
Happy Holiday's to all of my fellow runners. Run long and taper!
SFX: French Restaurant
Waiter: Ah, monsieur, welcome to Le Mauvais Pied …are you ready to order?
Steve: Uhhh…yeah, I think so…what are your specials today?
Waiter: Today we offer a tres bonne stress fractured tibia, lightly seasoned and presented with a band of illiotibial syndrome garnish…
Steve: Nahhh….that’ll take too long to heal, do you anything less complex?
Waiter: We have a simple yet elegant plantar facitis, developed just this morning after a tres diffiicle run in the slush.
Steve: Nahh, I’m looking for something a little bit higher up the leg.
Waiter: Might I recommend something in the hip area, perhaps un inflammation al la bursa, perhaps un tro-chan-teric bursitis or a deep hip flexor snap…very deep and very snappy.
Waiter: Perhaps a case of exercise induced compartment syndrome?
Waiter: ankle sprain?
Waiter: Achilles tendonitis?
Waiter: shin splints?
Waiter: Metatarsal Stress Syndrome?
Steve: uh huh
Waiter: Quadriceps strain?
Waiter: Inflammation of the adductor muscles?
Waiter: perhaps a light to moderate rap on the head?
Steve: don’t you have something kind of mid range, above the tibia but below the groin?
Waiter: (slight pause) well…(hesitant) we do have the chef’s specialty, but I don’t think you’d want to try it.
Steve: What is it called?
Waiter: well…I don’t really think you want to try it….perhaps I could interest you in some blackend toenails, or a nasty case of athlete’s foot?
Steve: What is the chefs special?
Waiter: (sigh) It’s called Chrondromalatia, Patella.
Steve: mmmm…it sounds great,
Waiter: Might I recommend some Iliopsoas Tendonitis, it’s very painful and fresh?
Steve: No, I think I’ll take the Chrondromalatia Patella please.
Waiter: Are you sure you wouldn’t like to try our Pi-riformis Syndrome, it’s a pain in the butt to prepare, but it has a certain kick to it
Steve: Nahh…just bring me the Chrondromalatia Patella please.
Waiter: (sigh) yes monsieur, of course…would monsieur pull back his chair please?
Steve: there ya go.
Waiter: merci….hold out your knee please….
Steve: how’s that
Waiter: bon, bon….and now, le Chronromalatia Patella…
SFX of hitting, or kicking knee….Steve yells…
Waiter: bonne appetite.
This is another test of the emergency podcast system...well, perhaps I'm exaggerating a wee bit. I'm going out for a very short run to test some new "runcast" recording gear and to talk about my new gadget which tells me everything about my health that I already know!!
Today’s episode is a test of some new audio equipment that I use to record my “runcasts”. I’ll be talking about how I’ve recorded Phedippidations for the past 10 years, test out this new microphone and tell you about some welcome changes for my podcasts coming up in 2015. I’m going BACK to the way Phedippidations was intended to be.
I had the privilege of sitting in on a lecture from the American Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. It was an enlightening evening to say the least. Dr. Tyson is one of the few rational voices in my country. He reminds me of how great the United States once was, and how great it could be again someday.
I once knew a sailor who had a boat with a small leak in it.
He jumped into the boat, and the water was up to his neck, and he started bailing the thing out…one scoop of water at a time, over and over he bailed out his boat…and it was great, after about a week or so the boat was almost empty…after a week and a half, it was pretty much completely dry!
But then, some of his neighbors came down to the pier and saw what he was doing, and got all angry at him…we’ll call these people the “anti-bailer crowd”. The anti-bailer crowd hated water pumps and old milk cartons that could remove water from a boat…because they claimed such things caused fires and weren’t natural.
Yeah…fires…seriously, and even though there was zero evidence of any kind that water bailers caused fires, the anti-bailer crowd insisted that, because water was natural, it shouldn’t be bailed out of a boat…actually, not too many people understood what the anti-bailer crowd was so upset about, but they were angry and were convinced that there was a conspiracy from the Big-Bailer corporations who were making billions on selling water bailers to sailors.
They also believed that bailing water from a boat could cause autism…because, they said, bailers were coated with thimerosal…even though there has been no link found between thimerosal in bailers and autism…not a single shred of evidence…anyway, childhood bailers haven’t been coated with thimerosal since 2001 except for the inactivated multi-water bailers…and besides, thimerosal is broken down into ethyl mercury in the water…which is NOT the same as Methyl mercury…which you can find in some fish and other food sources. It’s ethyl not methyl…you do understand that right?
Anyway…the anti-bailers failed to understand how water bailers work, and they failed to understand the fact that the sailors boat still had the leak.
My question to you is this: should the sailor heed the advice of the anti-bailers and stop bailing water from his boat?…and if he does, what’s going to happen to his boat?
There are two simple questions there, and I’m asking you to answer them honestly.
Now…you might try and say that he should use some other method to remove the water from the boat…like, maybe emptying it with a sponge, or drinking the water…but that’s not being intellectually honest, because in that case the sponge or the sailors stomach has become the bailer…no, there’s no wiggle room here…and besides, that’s missing the point…ignoratio elenchi…alternate bailers may work, but they’re still bailers.
Just answer the question: Should the sailer stop bailing, and if he does what’s going to happen to his boat?
Let’s try another exercise, and be honest.
Let’s say that someone you love: a spouse, child or parent…has plans to go to a meeting of 1000 people, in a room, who have all contracted the Ebola virus: and they’ve got it bad, coughing, fever, all of the nasty symptoms I don’t have to mention to you.
Question: would you want your loved one to go to that meeting, in that room?
Yes or no?
Probably no, right? Good choice. Now…let’s say that instead of 1000 people infected with Ebola, there are 1000 people who just got back from West Africa…and they were working to help those suffering from Ebola…they may or may not be infected…we don’t know…but your loved one: a spouse, child or parent…has plans to meet with them in an auditorium somewhere.
Would you want them to go to the meeting?
Now…if you say yes you’re saying: “It’s okay that they risk their lives from possible exposure” but if you say no, and you’re someone who is against vaccinations such as those for Influenza, tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, varicella, papillomavirus, measles, mumps, rubella, Meningococcal, Hepatitis A and B, just to name a few…if you say NO and are an anti-vaxer…then you have some explaining to do.
Because, it sounds like you’re saying that you don’t want to risk having your loved one exposed to a potentially deadly virus, but you don’t want to do anything to remove the threat of that virus: you don’t care that the boat is going to sink, you don’t mind moving the goal post every time a new boat bailer comes out…because polio is bad, but we never should have given people the polio vaccine because…well, because why?
Fear. That’s why. Be honest with yourself…you’re afraid of what you don’t understand. I get that: it’s a scary world out there and maybe you don’t trust the government or the pharmaceutical companies who manufacture vaccines…maybe you hate needles or just feel like medicine is made from bad chemicals….I don’t know, you have to have your reasons…but the boat is sinking, and if you’re not going to help bail out the boat, or if you’re going to stop me from bailing out the boat: you’re partly to blame when the damn thing sinks.
I am so sick and tired of anti-vaxers who fail to give a crap about herd immunity…who listen to stupid people who twist the truth, ignore the evidence and make up stories just because they don’t understand the science behind vaccinations and how they have helped to save so many millions of people in the world.
Last question, and again be honest: With this Ebola thing that’s in the news…which by the way, you have a very low chance of contracting, it has an average reproductive ratio (the number of people who will catch the disease from someone who is infected) of only 2, compared to measles which is 18, whooping cough which is 17 and chicken pox which is also 17.
If Ebola did become a global pandemic…which with a reproductive ratio of 2 is extremely unlikely…but if it did, and IF they come out with a vaccine, there are currently two experimental vaccines being tested, by the way: one developed by GlaxoSmithKline and the other by the Public Health Agency of Canada…but if this disease became a global pandemic and there was a vaccine for it…would you want to be vaccinated against Ebola?
You know what ebola is, right? Hemorrhagic fever…it kills between 25 and 90% of those infected with it…so if a global pandemic of Ebola were to occur, there’s a very good chance that you, or someone you love would die from the disease…so, would you want to be vaccinated against Ebola if that were to happen?
This is a moral dilemma that only you can answer: but remember, if you say no then you’re risking personal death, or worse…spreading it to others…in a global pandemic that reproductive ratio increases from 2 to something much higher.
I'd like to know what you think. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a message on Facebook and Twitter…I want to know what you’d do, and please, explain why…remember, if you say yes you’ll have helped the herd immunity, but if you say no, then the only morally correct thing to do is to isolate yourself from all other human beings: let me know if you agree, and if not, why.
I have my own opinions on this of course, but I’m very curious to know yours. I’ll read all the responds in a week or so, here on Intervals….let me know if I can use your name on the show.
If Ebola became a global pandemic, and if they had a vaccine against it: would you take the vaccine, yes or no…and why? I look forward to hearing from you.
I’ve been asked by an old friend to respond to an article published by Doctor Kurt Perkins, a Doctor of Chiropractic from southern Colorado with a background in biochemistry and genetics. In this episode of Intervals…no one on either side of the “Vaccination Debate” will change their minds. I believe, as a fact, in the critical importance of vaccinations and the immunization schedule BUT I also believe that we should continue to test vaccinations and the effect of the vaccination schedule to ensure that people are not made to suffer.
In other words, having considered the overwhelming scientific evidence I’m inclined to feel that vaccinations are important, and that herd immunity due to the vaccination schedule is real…based on the evidence.
HOWEVER, I’m not an immunologist…I’m an engineer, not a doctor…so I have about the same credibility as a certified wellness practitioner…but that’s okay, I’m going to go into this with an open mind.
Here’s the blog post my friend asked me to read with an open mind: http://healthimpactnews.com/2013/dr-kurt-why-i-will-never-choose-to-vaccinate-my-own-son-and-any-future-kids-my-wife-and-i-have/
Here’s the study I referred to: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10493337
Here’s my problem with a lot of the arguments raised in this blog post: http://naturalmomma.tumblr.com/post/69552734721/logicalfallacies
Here’s a classic definition of “vaccine”: A vaccine is a biological preparation that improves immunity to a particular disease. A vaccine typically contains an agent that resembles a disease-causing microorganism and is often made from weakened or killed forms of the microbe, its toxins or one of its surface proteins. The agent stimulates the body's immune system to recognize the agent as foreign, destroy it, and keep a record of it, so that the immune system can more easily recognize and destroy any of these microorganisms that it later encounters.
And then there’s THIS: http://www.skepticalraptor.com/skepticalraptorblog.php/shocking-news-antivaccine-chiropractor-ignores-science/
AND this: ]http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/DevelopmentApprovalProcess/BiologicsLicenseApplicationsBLAProcess/ucm133096.htm
AND this: ]http://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/DevelopmentApprovalProcess/BiologicsLicenseApplicationsBLAProcess/ucm133096.htm
On the next episode of Phedippidations, I’m going to get a lot of you ANGRY. That’s not my intention of course…but it’ll probably happen. I produced this show a few weeks ago, and have delayed publishing it because I wasn’t really sure if I should.
But I’m going to do it anyway. Just remember: you’ve been warned.
I’m increasingly tired of actions and processes such as absolutism, asceticism, chauvinism, conservatism, egotism, evangelicalism, fundamentalism, hedonism, idealism, obstructionism, racism, radicalism, theism, his-ism and that-ism...just to name a few.
It’s not that I’m against all ISMs in the world, just alot more these days than ever before in my life.
I really don’t have a lot to say about this anti-ism attitude.... and while you’ll think it’s a tangent; I feel like I’m leading up to something: a fundamental change in my way of thinking about the universe. This change in my understanding has been brewing over the past four years and while no single event has instigated this change I can tell you where it started.
It started, as you might expect, when I was drinking a glass of wine in a Vineyard in northeastern
Connecticut four summers ago...I was sitting at the top of Sharpe Hill, looking across the rows of vines and the beautiful cloudless blue skies towards the orchards of Danielson to the east... and I was thinking about life and consciousness...kind of a deep topic to contemplate on a sunny afternoon. I was thinking about what life is...is it the atoms that make up the molecules that compose my body...or any body for that matter?
|Sharpe Hill, CT|
While organizations such as S.E.T.I. and NASA search for life on Mars and exoplanets, are they looking for carbon or methane based life? Is that was life is...something you can touch? If that’s true riddle me this: what is consciousness? Nobody seems to know, or at least they can’t point to a thing made of molecules and say: THAT thing experiences consciousness.
What if life can’t really be touched...what if life isn’t a thing...but was simply a process that occurs to things, like a flame occurs to a candle.
The more I thought about this, the more it made sense. Life is just a process; and when the candle is extinguished...the process stops, the flame doesn’t go anywhere, it just stops.
There are a lot of “ISMs” in the world that encourage violence, hatred and pain to promote the idea that the flame continues to burn elsewhere. I haven’t quite figured out why this is so, but I do understand that it’s a waste.
Life is short, but it should be long enough...and if what we’re experiencing is a process of life then we must savor it like a fine wine and avoid all of the ISM’s that would cause any harm.
I’m Steve Runner, reminding you to run long and taper.
The Great John Ellis, fellow runner, coach and friend…joins the podcast with a response to my latest Phedippidations tirade titled “What Does the Fox Say?”. Here John gives us his impression of "High Intensity Interval Training" and the notion that the "Long Slow Run" will KILL YOU!
Episode 319 of Phedippidations will be available this weekend, and it’s my response to an article written on the Fox News website that suggests that endurance sports CAN KILL YOU. (Did I just use all “caps” just then? Sorry about that…I know that’s considered rude, but perhaps it’s appropriate since RUNNING A MARATHON WILL KILL YOU!!). Anyway, listen in and enjoy the rant.
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
With what a glory comes and goes the year!
The buds of spring, those beautiful harbingers
Of sunny skies and cloudless times, enjoy
Life's newness, and earth's garniture spread out.
And when the silver habit of the clouds
Comes down upon the autumn sun, and with
A sober gladness the old year takes up
His bright inheritance of golden fruits,
A pomp and pageant fill the splendid scene.
There is a beautiful spirit breathing now
Its mellow richness on the clustered trees,
And, from a beaker full of richest dyes,
Pouring new glory on the autumn woods,
And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds.
Morn on the mountain, like a summer bird,
Lifts up her purple wing, and in the vales
The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer,
Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life
Within the solemn woods of ash deep-crimsoned,
And silver beech, and maple yellow-leaved,
Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down
By the wayside a-weary.Through the trees
The golden robin moves.The purple finch,
That on wild cherry and red cedar feeds,
A winter bird, comes with its plaintive whistle,
And pecks by the witch-hazel, whilst aloud
From cottage roofs the warbling blue-bird sings,
And merrily, with oft-repeated stroke,
Sounds from the threshing-floor the busy flail.
O what a glory doth this world put on
For him who, with a fervent heart, goes forth
Under the bright and glorious sky, and looks
On duties well performed, and days well spent!
For him the wind, ay, and the yellow leaves,
Shall have a voice, and give him eloquent teachings.
He shall so hear the solemn hymn, that Death
Has lifted up for all, that he shall go
To his long resting-place without a tear.
The song “Boston” is by Augustana.
The “war drums” are pounding again, and despite our President’s intent that bombing ISIS will be a limited engagement without “boots on the ground”: THIS IS THE SINGLE WORST PLAN POSSIBLE, and we will ALL regret it. I’m sorry.
Now the bad news: My left shoulder is in agony.
Thus is the life of this middle age-middle of the pack-slightly asthmatic fellow runner!
I ran 2 miles today, and my knee (which has been SCREAMING at me since March) seemed to handle it quite nicely. Still, I'm taking it easy. Also, I've published Fdip317: Wine for Newbies for your audible consumption. Run long and taper!
Today marks the 9th anniversary of “Phedippidations”, a podcast that started out “for runners” but evolved into something very different. I love producing the “show” and I appreciate all of the support I’ve received over the years…but most importantly, I am grateful that you’d listen to me at all. It is an honor to run with you.
I’m back in the game…pretty much literally. Recorded at my beloved Fenway Park I have, after more than 2 months, been able to do that activity for which I am “named”. Also, I’m heading to PT in a move to get moving again.
On the next episode of Phedippidations I’ll tell you about my puppy Eva Jones. You’ve already “met” her big brother, Indiana. I’ll tell you how important my dogs are to me, and how they have made me a slightly better person.
I conclude the episode with a eulogy for my friend Dick Leone. It’s not a “tear-jerker” summation of his life, because he’d give me the “clue sign” if I did that…rather, it’s an honest testimony of what he taught me, and how important his life was to me. I’ll never give up the search for the “ultimate biff”.
Dick is a philosopher. He can talk to you at great length about the differences between men and woman, and although you'd THINK that the term "Bimbie" is derogatory…nothing could be further from the truth: because, Dick loves his friends and the term “Bimbie” is one of endearment…even if they don’t have a clue :)
The year was 1983 and my friend John Leone, Dicks’ brother…who I know and love as Vito were up at my college radio station just messing around with recording equipment. John is the most talented person I know, a broadway and television actor…Les Mis, Jersey Boys…yeah, you’ve probably seen him. But this song was really written for his brother: Dick, who we know as Dungman. Don’t be offended, this was written and sung in a different age when dudes where dudes and bimbies were clueless. And so, you’ll excuse me if I talk to him right now.
Dude. Remember those nights after hanging around at the Tent or at Bobby Burns, eating little white boxes of Chinese food at my parents house on Holbrook Road? We were wild spas dogs back then man, livin large and taking names.
To this day, whenever I order Chinese I think of us hanging out, playing cards and keeping my parents and siblings awake upstairs.
I’ll never stop the search dude…in search of the ultimate biff. It’s out there, and it’s fueled by Chinese food.
Recorded in October of 1986 with my friend Dick Leone aka "Dungman". Back then, we were kids...and some of our best friends were "the girls from Hingham" aka "The Bimbies". Although my audience might think this term is sexist, it was actually a term or endearment. Back then, they guys were "The Dudes" and the girls were "The Bimbies" and we filmed this video for a weekend escape to celebrate Columbus Day. My friend Dick was brilliant in this video, filmed at my house (now my parents house) in Weymouth Massachusetts...late, late...late at night after way too many beers. I did the filming, and Dick was his classic, usual "brilliant".
In October of 1986, my friend Dick Leone, myself and others put together a video that would be shown to a group of our friends at an annual "Columbus Day Escape" weekend. This is a clip of me interviewing "The Puckerama King".
"Puck" as we called it, was really "Chocolate Chip Cookies", but when you try to cook chocolate chip cookies over a campfire, they tend to come out charred, inedible and dangers to eat. We ate them anyway, and they tasted like a "spongy hockey puck" or as we came to call it "Sponge Puck".
*** WARNING - NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN ***
Long may he BIFF.
You have to understand, that I know NOTHING about tequila. ZERO..nada. I know more about QUANTUM MECHANICS than I do Tequila (hey, I “aced” the course in college…cut me some slack). But my friend Adam recommended a really INCREDIBLE tequila for me to take my first introductory taste of, and WOAH was it fantastic. This is my sad, silly attempt to describe the very first experience of it.
Yes, yes, yes…I’m still losing weight although it’s been over a month since I’ve been able to run. Here’s an update on my sweet little puppy Eva Jones and my new “friend” Chondromalacia Patella…the pain that keeps giving.
My friend, fellow runner and coach: John Ellis, ran an impressive 5:47:52 today in the Boston Marathon. This was a beautiful day in New England and I very much appreciate the fact that runners like John had the courage, indomitable spirit and athleticism to run 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to downtown Boston. Thank you John, and everyone who ran Boston today. You taught me a valuable lesson.
|My friend: John Ellis.|
Greetings fellow runners...I'm STILL Steve Runner, even though...I really can't run for awhile. Injury has fallen upon me to the point where the pain is too excessive to run. No worries though! I'm still losing weight (much more slowly) and keeping busy staring at walls, watching snow melt, grass grow, paint dry and lot's of exciting stuff. Listen in, or fall asleep. GO SOX!