This is the transcript for a bit I wrote for episode 89 of Phedippidations back on March 25th, 2007 titled "A Pain in the Knee".
Happy Holiday's to all of my fellow runners. Run long and taper!
SFX: French Restaurant
Waiter: Ah, monsieur, welcome to Le Mauvais Pied …are you ready to order?
Steve: Uhhh…yeah, I think so…what are your specials today?
Waiter: Today we offer a tres bonne stress fractured tibia, lightly seasoned and presented with a band of illiotibial syndrome garnish…
Steve: Nahhh….that’ll take too long to heal, do you anything less complex?
Waiter: We have a simple yet elegant plantar facitis, developed just this morning after a tres diffiicle run in the slush.
Steve: Nahh, I’m looking for something a little bit higher up the leg.
Waiter: Might I recommend something in the hip area, perhaps un inflammation al la bursa, perhaps un tro-chan-teric bursitis or a deep hip flexor snap…very deep and very snappy.
Waiter: Perhaps a case of exercise induced compartment syndrome?
Waiter: ankle sprain?
Waiter: Achilles tendonitis?
Waiter: shin splints?
Waiter: Metatarsal Stress Syndrome?
Steve: uh huh
Waiter: Quadriceps strain?
Waiter: Inflammation of the adductor muscles?
Waiter: perhaps a light to moderate rap on the head?
Steve: don’t you have something kind of mid range, above the tibia but below the groin?
Waiter: (slight pause) well…(hesitant) we do have the chef’s specialty, but I don’t think you’d want to try it.
Steve: What is it called?
Waiter: well…I don’t really think you want to try it….perhaps I could interest you in some blackend toenails, or a nasty case of athlete’s foot?
Steve: What is the chefs special?
Waiter: (sigh) It’s called Chrondromalatia, Patella.
Steve: mmmm…it sounds great,
Waiter: Might I recommend some Iliopsoas Tendonitis, it’s very painful and fresh?
Steve: No, I think I’ll take the Chrondromalatia Patella please.
Waiter: Are you sure you wouldn’t like to try our Pi-riformis Syndrome, it’s a pain in the butt to prepare, but it has a certain kick to it
Steve: Nahh…just bring me the Chrondromalatia Patella please.
Waiter: (sigh) yes monsieur, of course…would monsieur pull back his chair please?
Steve: there ya go.
Waiter: merci….hold out your knee please….
Steve: how’s that
Waiter: bon, bon….and now, le Chronromalatia Patella…
SFX of hitting, or kicking knee….Steve yells…
Waiter: bonne appetite.
This is another test of the emergency podcast system...well, perhaps I'm exaggerating a wee bit. I'm going out for a very short run to test some new "runcast" recording gear and to talk about my new gadget which tells me everything about my health that I already know!!
Today’s episode is a test of some new audio equipment that I use to record my “runcasts”. I’ll be talking about how I’ve recorded Phedippidations for the past 10 years, test out this new microphone and tell you about some welcome changes for my podcasts coming up in 2015. I’m going BACK to the way Phedippidations was intended to be.