Last
week I was thinking a lot about prayer, and why we do it…especially when
someone we know or somebody dear to someone we know is sick and suffering. We ask for prayers, we offer prayers, we let
each other know that we’re in each others prayers…but what I was thinking a lot
about is: why.
Why
do we pray for the people we care about?
When
I was eleven years old I just sorta went with the program and thought of prayer
as a kind of an insurance policy: it was a way to get Almighty God to grant our
every wish for health, happiness and comfort.
I figured that when my great grandfather suffered a stroke and was in
the hospital for all those weeks, all I’d have to do is recite a few “Our
Fathers” and “Hail Mary’s” and magically my Pa would be healed and come home.
But
that didn’t happen: oh, the prayers happened: long hours at church and by my
bed-side knees bent, hands clasped, head bowed and eyes closed deeply praying
to God to save my Pa’s life. What didn’t
happen is the whole being healed and coming home thing.
On
March 2nd of 1973 my Great Grandfather Giovanni Antonio Fraioli died
at the age of eight-six. My prayers were
most definitely not answered. So was all
that prayer a waste of time?
Actually
no; as I’ll explain and especially since my Pa know that I, and the rest of his
family were praying for him.
Today
I’m almost 50 years old, and so many of my prayers in life have seemed to have
gone unanswered; which leads to the question of why I pray at all? Actually, I figured this out a long time ago,
back in the mid 1980’s when I realized that prayer wasn’t like rubbing a magic
lamp waiting for the genie to grant my wishes....prayer is all about asking God
to make everything work out okay.
And
if you think about it; going beyond all the sadness of loss and suffering:
everything really does work out okay, with the passing of time and acceptance
of change.
My
Pa died 38 years ago, and it was devastating to me as he was the first person I
really knew and loved who had died; and I couldn’t believe or understand that
he had lived a good life, had passed away peacefully with his family
surrounding him and that his death was actually a part of his life.
And
look: I could talk to you about all the different forms of prayer, including the
top five: Adoration, Contrition, Love, Thanksgiving and Prayers of Petition,
but it’s that last one: the prayer for petition that we’re really talking about
here.
When
someone we love is very sick, some of us pray to God, asking for their quick
recovery…but these are always expressed with an acknowledgement that Gods own
plans for us are far more important than what we desire: and in the end, it’s
all going to work out. Thy will be done.
But
not everyone prays or believes in the Monotheistic Judeao/Christian God that I
believe in; and yet most of us still ask
for good thoughts for our loved ones, we express empathy and concern; we hope
for the best and wish deeply for healing, comfort and restoration of the norm…and
I think maybe THAT’s the real purpose for prayer.
Hear
me out.
Human
beings are bound to suffer from circumstances and conditions well beyond our
control. Our lives are constantly
changing; and those changes often seem bad or unfortunate. With regards to our physical condition: one
thing is for certain: we will all one day die, and many of us will have to
undergo treatments and procedures to extend the duration of our lives: and all
of that can be scary…because the unknown is often scary: regardless of the
irrationality of fear. We’re humans;
fear is part of that condition thing I’m talking about.
So
when I pray for someone, not only am I asking for an intercession from God, and
not only am I acknowledging my helplessness as a human being: I’m also
expressing compassion and caring.
See:
I think that’s the thing that applies to all of us, no matter what you believe
or don’t believe in. Take the
supernatural out of prayer for just a moment and for the purposes of this
discussion, and I still think you have something really important and
powerful.
Think
about it. If you were in the hospital,
undergoing major surgery: wouldn’t it be a comfort to know that somewhere,
someone was thinking about you? That
someone wished they could take the fear and discomfort away for you, that they
held hope that you’d get better, and that they cared about you?
Even
if it wasn’t a prayer to God on your behalf, wouldn’t it be a comfort to know
that someone thought so much about you that they wished you or your loved one
would be spared whatever impending ailment you or they might be suffering? Wouldn’t it mean so much to know that you or
they were cared for by others? Even
people who might not even know you personally?
You’d
have to be a block of granite to answer “no” to that rhetorical question. You’re a human being: you have an innate need
to be loved and cared for. If you think
otherwise you’re in denial.
Please
understand, I’m not denigrating the importance or significance of Prayers of
Petition or any other form of prayer: but at the same time I think it’s
important that we consider the value of caring for others, even when we can’t
be there in person.
Last
week, someone I love very much was in need of care, good thoughts and
sympathetic hope for everyone who knows her, or knows of her. Everything worked out okay; which on one hand
I could say was Gods will…but there was something else at work here which I
won’t disparage by calling it mystical or paranormal: but the fact that both
she and I knew there were many people who cared about her, that so many
friends, family members and acquaintances wanted her to get better, survive her
treatment and to go on to live a happier life…made an impact, and helped a
great deal.
It’s
not a miracle to care for others, but neither is it ever a waste of time.
I’m
Steve Runner, reminding you run long and taper.
