I believe that, in reality, we are being controlled by Robot Overlords from the Future.
All hail the Robot Overlords.
For today’s wine tasting, I’m going to either prove my astounding ineptitude with tasting wine or, at the very least, show how subjective wine tasting can be.
One man’s “Elixir of the Gods” is another mans “Fetid Acrid Grape Juice”.
To accomplish this literary feat, I shall present both my personal review of “THE CRUSHER” my wife and my current summer favorite Chard, contrasted against an amalgam of various posted reviews from the so called “experts” of oenology. I’m a huge fan of Robert Parker Jr. but I’ve tasted some of the South American wines he’s rated in the 70 range, and disagreed with his rating with all of my SOUL.
Okay, that’s a little deep. Let me rein that in a bit and try to articulate this better.
Ahem.
(That’s the sound I’m making to clear my throat as a dramatic move to establish the seriousness of what I’m trying to say about this wine).
TO HELL WITH THE ROBOT OVERLORDS, DON’T SAVE ME, SAVE THE CRUSHER!!
Wow, sorry about that…that was borderline crazy with the Robot Overlord thing. Yikes, do I feel silly (Viva la robo-sistance!). I guess I was just trying to say that my wife and I love this wine. A lot.
Just the other day I went to our local wine shoppe (one of the finest in the colonies, as illustrated by the silent “pe”) http://www.yankeespirits.com and asked if there was any of THE CRUSHER left.
The resident wine director (a guy by the name of Joe Astukewicz, a TRUE wine expert) knew exactly what I was talking about when I asked about THE CRUSHER.
“Butterscotch, toffee goodness, right?” he asked.
“YES!!” I cried, making a scene and peeing my pants a little.
(Wow, I can’t believe I just wrote that…it was supposed to have been a private moment).
“I think I had our Attleboro
Drying myself off, I inquired about other wines that might match the tasting notes of THE CRUSHER, and Joe was good enough to pick a few out for me…and then one of his wine minions announced on the public address system that the last case of THE CRUSHER had been found.
“I’ll take it” I squealed (yes, like a little girl if you must know…woah, this so called “Wine Review” is taking a bad turn.)
Anyway, my point here is that my wife and I love this wine, and I now have the last case in Massachusetts
(Woah, sorry about the “Planet of the Apes” thing there…I’m not sure where that came from…must be the wine).
Here’s my non-robotic review of the 2007 Wilson Vineyards Chardonnay “THE CRUSHER” from Clarksburg , California
Color (7/10)
Brilliant medium depth with vivid liveliness greenish-straw colors with golden flashes in bright sunlight. At first glance, you’re looking at this wine thinking “ugh, what’s with the green hue?” but that’s just an illusion (I viewed this against a while paper background). This is beautifully filtered Chard with no residuals. I rate it a 7 out of 10 or color and appearance.
Here’s what others had to say:
Pale golden colored.
COLOR-medium golden.
Nose (29/30)
This wine has 13.5% alcohol, so it’s not sharply hot on the nose. I get a tiny ammonia hint at first sniff, but it’s a smooth inoffensive ammonia….actually ammonia isn’t the right word; it’s more like Pineapple.
You know what I mean?
Ever stick your nose in a bowl of freshly cut pineapple? (not the stuff in cans or covered in syrup). This is like that, only lighter, fresher: we’re talking only a hint of that pineapple scent (see what I meant when I wrote that it’s an inoffensive ammonia?
I’ve heard wine lovers describe Long Island Sauv Blancs as smelling like “cat pee” without a negative connotation associated with it.
Not that I know what cat pee smells like mind you. I try not to make it a habit of acquainting myself with such odors; but I digress.
Having written all this, I rate the nose of THE CRUSHER with a 29 out of 30. It’s not overpowering fruity like a lot of Chards I’ve tasted, but it does have a nice sublime sweetness that comes out in the nose. Well done Wilson Vineyards!
Here’s what others had to say:
Rich with Tahitian vanilla bean and custard notes, layered with tangerine and pear aromas.
Buttery apple aromas lead to apple, citrus, and mild, toasted oak flavors.
Quite a bit of buttered honey; subtle oak.
Palate (40/40)
Sharp, tangy medium bodied with a rich lasting toffee-caramel finish. It has oaky undertones but in my amateur opinion the oak doesn’t overpower this wine. The contrast between the sharp first taste on the tongue and the long, smooth toffee-caramel ending really makes this wine special. I get hints of honey, cashew and burnt pencil shavings as the finish fades out: which is brilliant!
When my wife and I first tasted this wine, we looked at each other from across the table and exclaimed “WOW!” This is a keeper. This is why I just bought the last case of the stuff at our local wine store. THIS COULD CONVERT ME INTO A WHITE WINE DRINKER!
Bacchus wept.
I score this a solid, well deserved (in my feeble mind) 40 points out of 40. Take that Mr. Parker!
Here’s what others had to say:
The palate has tropical notes of coconut, guava and papaya, finishing with crisp red delicious apple and baked apple pie flavors.
Though buttery and rich in the mouth, this wine does have nice balance and if you like this style of Chard you could do a lot worse for the price ($13)
Though buttery and rich in the mouth, this wine does have nice balance and if you like this style of Chard you could do a lot worse for the price ($13)
I think this wine is awful; one of the worst wines I've had; very hot on the back-end.
Overall (19/20)
I love this wine. I like the way that it’s nose teases you into thinking it’s a subtle, easy going Chard, and then when it hits your palate it’s like a PSYCHOTIC MANIAC WITH AN ICE-PICK but just as you scamper back in horror the villain is revealed to be the good guy, with a friendly, warm, creamy long finish without too much oak slapping you in the face as it heads out the door.
THIS is a great Chardonnay; and while I understand many who are much more of an expert than I will disagree (a certain Gary Vaynerchuk wasn’t a big fan of this, he thought it had a lot of butter honey on the nose, and didn’t suffer from the “Oak Monster” but he also said it brought nothing to the table.)
He’s probably a much better wine nut than I am, and likely has an excellent palate…but the guy is TOTALLY WRONG about this wine….not even in the same universe as reality.
Overall I’m giving this an 18. The greenish hue didn’t take too much away from it; but if I had one complaint it’s that sharp tangy Sauv Blanc notes on the front of the palate that could have been a bit more subtle.
I LOVE this Chard. I need MORE of this Chard!
Here’s what others had to say:
This complex, food friendly Chardonnay is nice on its own, as an aperitif, but it also pairs beautifully with lobster Bisque, Chesapeake Bay crab cakes over wilted arugula, or flatbread with goat cheese and caramelized onions.
Brings nothing to the table; very thin; no body; 57 points
Total
7+29+40+19= 95
The 2007 Wilson Vineyard Chardonnay “THE CRUSHER” produced by Don Sebastiani and Sons from the California Central Valley and the Clarksburg appellation. It’s a solid 95 points in my book!
Even the Robot Overlords would be pleased. (If they could drink wine).
Salute!
- Steve
